Three weeks ago I saw a kid on my flight with some weird looking aqua-socks on. They had separated toes kind of like the old rainbow knee socks that were so popular back in the 70s. I asked him if they were comfortable and he said, “definitely.” I didn’t have time to ask more (we were on our way up the jetway) and let it go at that.
I soon forgot about the whole thing, but my toes locked up pretty severely yesterday (I’m developing hallux rigidus in both feet) and hurt a lot. I remembered the conversation and did a quick search. I was expecting to have to search for awhile, but apparently I’ve stumbled upon (no pun intended) a burgeoning fad: barefoot running. Everything old is new again, I suppose.
So I went out yesterday and bought a pair of Vibram Five Fingers, or “Crazy Monkey Shoes” as John Biggs at CrunchGear terms them.
They are butt ugly. And they are wonderful.
Most of the time, I have a moderate pain when walking. Kind of like a really low-grade headache that you know is there but don’t really feel anymore. But every so often, one or both of my big toes just locks up at the first joint and it’s all I can do to not unleash a stream of obscenities that could flash fry a Gorton’s beer battered fish filet. I end up limping for ten to fifteen minutes while my toe figures out that it isn’t actually caught in a Chinese finger trap and works itself loose.
I have four normal pairs of shoes. Two pair of basic Adidas tennis shoes (basic basic… none of this hyper-developed high resolution supercharged stuff with onboard circuitry), a pair of Rockport brown wingtips, and a pair of Johnston & Murphy black wingtips. I like all of them. The Adidas are occasionally painful, the Rockports about the same, and the Johnston & Murphy are frequently excruciating. None of this is the fault of the shoes themselves – they’re all actually quite comfortable with roomy toe boxes – it’s my feet. My halluxi (halluxes, hallu?) just don’t get along with them.
So enter these crazy monkey shoes. After some cursory research, I figure it’s worth a gamble. It can’t really be any worse, and I do notice that my toes almost never lock up when I’m barefoot around the house. I wore them to walk the dog in the park next to my building and it was one of the weirdest things ever. I could feel the ground and the cracks in the pavement, but only just barely. The best way I can describe it is that these things are like growing an instant protective callus on the bottom of your feet. The real weirdness, though, came from knowing that I really didn’t want to be barefoot in that park.
Last night, I wore them to an NBA game and, aside from being horribly self-conscious about the look, was amazingly comfortable. I started noticing other people’s shoes, though, and realized that we have some really REALLY odd things that we do to our feet. After looking at a pair of 3 inch stiletto boots with new eyes, I didn’t think the Vibrams were quite so odd. And “normal” running shoes are equally hideous looks, it’s just that we’re now used to them.
I (now) know they’re trendy. I know they’re hippie shoes. But my toes didn’t lock up one single time yesterday.
Now if I can just figure out how to wear these damn things to work…
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